Shansie Sherazi

© everlark

"

A thought experiment: Imagine how people might react if Taylor Swift released an album made up entirely of songs about wishing she could get back together with one of her exes.

We’d hear things like: “She can’t let go. She’s clingy. She’s irrational. She’s crazy.” Men would have a field day comparing her to their own “crazy” exes.

Yet when Robin Thicke released “Paula” – a plea for reconciliation with his ex-wife Paula Patton disguised as an LP — he was called incoherent, obsessed, heartfelt and, in particular, creepy.

But you didn’t hear men calling him “crazy” — even though he used it as the title of one of tracks.

No, “crazy” is typically held in reserve for women’s behavior. Men might be obsessed, driven, confused or upset. But we don’t get called “crazy” — at least not the way men reflexively label women as such.

“Crazy” is one of the five deadly words guys use to shame women into compliance. The others: Fat. Ugly. Slutty. Bitchy. They sum up the supposedly worst things a woman can be.

WHAT WE REALLY MEAN BY “CRAZY” IS: “SHE WAS UPSET, AND I DIDN’T WANT HER TO BE.”

“Crazy” is such a convenient word for men, perpetuating our sense of superiority. Men are logical; women are emotional. Emotion is the antithesis of logic. When women are too emotional, we say they are being irrational. Crazy. Wrong.

Women hear it all the time from men. “You’re overreacting,” we tell them. “Don’t worry about it so much, you’re over-thinking it.” “Don’t be so sensitive.” “Don’t be crazy.” It’s a form of gaslighting — telling women that their feelings are just wrong, that they don’t have the right to feel the way that they do. Minimizing somebody else’s feelings is a way of controlling them. If they no longer trust their own feelings and instincts, they come to rely on someone else to tell them how they’re supposed to feel.

Small wonder that abusers love to use this c-word. It’s a way of delegitimizing a woman’s authority over her own life.

Most men (#notallmen, #irony) aren’t abusers, but far too many of us reflexively call women crazy without thinking about it. We talk about how “crazy girl sex” is the best sex while we also warn men “don’t stick it in the crazy.” How I Met Your Mother warned us to watch out for “the crazy eyes” and how to process women on the “Crazy/Hot” scale. When we talk about why we broke up with our exes, we say, “She got crazy,” and our guy friends nod sagely, as if that explains everything.


Except what we’re really saying is: “She was upset, and I didn’t want her to be.”

Many men are socialized to be disconnected from our emotions — the only manly feelings we’re supposed to show are stoic silence or anger. We’re taught that to be emotional is to be feminine. As a result, we barely have a handle on our own emotions — meaning that we’re especially ill-equipped at dealing with someone else’s.

That’s where “crazy” comes in. It’s the all-purpose argument ender. Your girlfriend is upset that you didn’t call when you were going to be late? She’s being irrational. She wants you to spend time with her instead of out with the guys again? She’s being clingy. Your wife doesn’t like the long hours you’re spending with your attractive co-worker? She’s being oversensitive.

As soon as the “crazy” card is in play, women are put on the defensive. It derails the discussion from what she’s saying to how she’s saying it. We insist that someone can’t be emotional and rational at the same time, so she has to prove that she’s not being irrational. Anything she says to the contrary can just be used as evidence against her.

More often than not, I suspect, most men don’t realize what we’re saying when we call a woman crazy. Not only does it stigmatize people who have legitimate mental health issues, but it tells women that they don’t understand their own emotions, that their very real concerns and issues are secondary to men’s comfort. And it absolves men from having to take responsibility for how we make others feel.

In the professional world, we’ve had debates over labels like “bossy” and “brusque,” so often used to describe women, not men. In our interpersonal relationships and conversations, “crazy” is the adjective that needs to go.

"

 
- Men really need to stop calling women crazy - Harris O’Malley  (via quentintortellini)

(Source: hello-lilianab)


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(Source: huffingtonpost)


  ·  72447  ·


"Ron Weasley’s character is consciously written as somewhat racist. Not as racist as Malfoy, of course - he doesn’t scoff at mudbloods and halfbloods, and he doesn’t see himself as superior at all. Still, he unquestionably accepts the inferior position of house elves (they love serving), when he finds out that Lupin’s werewolf his reaction is not only scared but also disgusted (Don’t touch me!) and he is clearly very uncomfortable finding out that Hagrid is half-giant (giants are wild and savage).
And this is brilliant. Because it demonstrates that racism isn’t only present in clearly malicious and evil people, in the Malfoys and Blacks - it’s also there in warm, kind, funny people who just happened to learn some pretty toxic things growing up in a pretty toxic society. And they can unlearn them too, with some time and effort. Ron eventually accepts Hagrid’s parentage, lets Lupin bandage his leg and in the final battle, he worries about the safety of the house elves.
Some people are prejudiced because they are evil, and some people are prejudiced because they don’t know better yet. And those people can learn better, and become better people. And that’s an important lesson. The lesson taught about discrimination shouldn’t be “only evil people do it”, because then all readers will assume it doesn’t apply to them. Instead old JK teaches us “you too are probably doing it, and you should do stop ASAP”."

 

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jtotheizzoe:

nevver:

Snake facts

The fact that some snakes still have pelvises will never not be weird and amazing.

jtotheizzoe:

nevver:

Snake facts

The fact that some snakes still have pelvises will never not be weird and amazing.


  ·  1958  ·


thatonenerdybroad:

eddietg:

If you own a dog, please share.

Even if you don’t own a dog, please share

thatonenerdybroad:

eddietg:

If you own a dog, please share.

Even if you don’t own a dog, please share


  ·  165792  ·


vaporware-femme:

theragin-cajun:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

ok this annoys the crap out of me, firstly the font in question costs a fortune, secondly no link to something that can change a persons life as it did mine, so here lemme fix both of those:http://opendyslexic.org/Open Source Dyslexia is a FREE font that is designed in a similar fashion as in weighting the letters, it is also being constantly updated, yer welcome

Hi for all of my disability friends, please bookmark opendyslexic this is a really great project! Tell your friends c:

vaporware-femme:

theragin-cajun:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

ok this annoys the crap out of me, firstly the font in question costs a fortune, secondly no link to something that can change a persons life as it did mine, so here lemme fix both of those:

http://opendyslexic.org/

Open Source Dyslexia is a FREE font that is designed in a similar fashion as in weighting the letters, it is also being constantly updated, yer welcome

Hi for all of my disability friends, please bookmark opendyslexic this is a really great project! Tell your friends c:


  ·  dyslexia  ·  im not dyslexic tag  ·  20031  ·


thepondsaregone:

thorinoakenbutt:

castielandpie:

poryqon:

it bothers me that Kansas and Arkansas are not pronounced the same

I’m from the UK and I have been pronouncing Arkansas as Ar-Kansas my whole life

For all my non-american friends, Arkansas is pronounced ark-an-saw

WHAT

And also within Arkansas there’s actually a really old law (presumably unenforced) against pronouncing it Ar-kansas.


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tentaclesandteacups:

A helpful flow chart for those who may need some pointers in the matter.
Designed by Racquel Reichard :)

tentaclesandteacups:

A helpful flow chart for those who may need some pointers in the matter.

Designed by Racquel Reichard :)


  ·  thank you  ·  2701  ·


New Technology Could Boost Solar Cell Efficiency By 30 Percent 

txchnologist:

image

by Ker Than, Inside Science

Scientists looking to boost the efficiency of solar panels are taking a fresh look at an exotic physics phenomenon first observed nearly 50 years ago in glowing crystals.

Called singlet fission, the process can enable a single photon of…


  ·  so much excite!  ·  322  ·


His Black Dress: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! 

hisblackdress:

Just a quick announcement about what’s going on over on the blog. Check it out and keep rockin’! <3

I actually… really like this. Male fashion that is readily available tends to be very limited and y’know, that’s silly. Work your dresses, you awesome confident person you.


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